To The Point

Phew, that last post makes me all sorts of dizzy just trying to read it. 

Okay, here's where life is in bullet point. 

• Almost 3 years ago, I was in a really bad accident. Survived it.
• 3 years later, I'm suffering from PTSD. 
• I've been on antidepressants for about 6 months
• The side effects of that last one, was gnarly. Absolutely unbearable, but it only lasted for about 2.5 weeks. ALSO, I gained weight... bad. So...
• I'm on NEW antidepressants as of last Monday because my previous one was making me feel, well, all sorts of not me. Yes, it worked...but it was getting in the way with my life, so we changed it.
• This new antidepressant WORKS, but, holy. crap. The side effects? WORSE than the previous one... 
• This new medication is so strong that it works out in segments. First segment, 10mg, which is already making me feel crappy. Second segment, 20mg, I start that today and I am NOT looking forward to it. And after 40mg. Pretty much doubling that. 
• Why can't I just stop taking it you ask?
• Withdrawal. And I'm not about to go into detail about that cause it scares me a lot to even think of my body going into that. 
• So, what do I do now?
• Still waiting to hear back from the doctor to see if there's a different medicine. However, I get a strong feeling he is just going to make me go half. 
• But on the bright side, it is working. I feel like me again...and I am so happy that I do. I even cry in happiness which hasn't happened in so long. 
• However I get to being me again doesn't seem like it's going to be easy, mentally or physically. 

But... I will try. 

Lately I have been having to work from home because it's been countless days that I have been coming home early due to how bad my side effects get. I fear for my job... but I have a very understanding Art Director who cares... I am so thankful.