2014 Reflection

Here we are again!! 2014, oh, what…a year. It started off pretty great. Actually, strike that. I started off with strep throat, LOL. But it start off pretty grand…but it quickly turned a little dull towards the end. I would say 2014 was the year of self reflect (lots of self reflect). I spent a lot of my time this year looking at the future and worrying about what’s going to happen to me. I allowed my fears get the better of me to the point where I had to become medicated for my PTSD. I spent almost my entire year on anti-depressants, and while it did seem like it was doing it’s job the side effects were really hard on me. Getting on them was really hard and currently getting off of them is just as hard if not harder. I decided to get off the meds when I noticed an increase to my weight…that and it just wasn’t good for me. I don’t want to have to take medicine every day because of my fears until I’m however old. So I’m looking forward to emotional and physical changes in 2015. I’m really excited for this new year to come, so thank 2014 for all the life experiences. Bring it on, 2015!

Here is my annual "[Year] in Review ! Here is a look back at 2013 :) 

1. A few things you will never forget in 2014

January 

• I started the year with strep throat 
• LION KING ON BROADWAY!! 
• I got new glasses that I now (December 2014) have to wear 
• Happy 6 months to me at JF! 
• Falling in love… 
• Lots of hiking trips 

February 

• More adventures 
• Philharmonic at Disney Concert Hall 
• More hikes, duh 
• Valentines day and Sugar Fish! 
• Lance’s birthday, LOL. 

March

• Maggie’s dance performance! 
• Visited Mr. Dahms 
• Reunited with the girls! 
• March 15, 2014 - You’re my boyfriend :) 
• DISNEYLAND!! With Jay and the bestfriend + boyfriend. So much fun! 

April 

• More hiking!! 
• I CUT MY HAIR SHORT!!! 
• FabSoles are in! 
• San Francisco adventure! 
• Tito Rashid’s family comes to the US! 

May 

• Let’s talk about flat tires -.- 
• Roc Race, yes! Met Jay's parents, eek!
• Pocky obession, that was a thing. 
• Also, waffles. 
• Camping. Oh gosh. I can’t even haha. 
• Arrivederci for Jay ! 
• Officially on anti depressants. 

June 

• Photoshoot with Martin, got the shot! - 
• Got my macbook 
• Maggie started driving. No. 
• Made my first animation on AE 
• I GOT BRACES. LOL. 

July 

• Served jury duty for the first time. 
• ANIME EXPO 
• Parent’s 25th anniversary 
• Coffee shop adventures continue 
• Going into this whole minimalist look, tried. 
• Unoffically move into Jay’s place WE HAVE AN ALFREDS!!!!! 

August 

• JORDAN GETS MARRIED :) 
• 1 year at JF 
• Fall Out Boy Concert 
• Waffle shirt + 1 purchaser  
• Jourel’s surprise birthday dinner! 
• POLB project 

September 

• Bye bye 323 Officially moved in with Jay 
• One Direction concert Maggie’s homecoming 
• We cut my hair, even shorter! 
• I learned how to watch football! Go Chargers! 
• Play with the cintiq! 
• Beach with Alfreds! 

October

• 23RD BIRTHDAY!!! OMGOD, BEST BIRTHDAY! 
• Ball-less Alfred, LOL. 
• Disney company trip! 
• Lisette’s bachelorette party! 
• Halloween!! Egg ! 

November 

• Comikaze ! 
• Designer Con 
• Falling so incredibly in love with Alfred 
• Hellooooo iPhone 6, FINALLY. 
• Mom’s birthday!! :) 
• Crepe adventure with fam bam 
• CTN! AHHHHHHHH 
• Hello Dark Lipstick ;] 

December 

• Marketing ugly sweater day! 
• Cut my hair even shorter! 
• Jourel & Manuel’s Nutcracker Play 
• Alfred continues to learn new tricks 
• JF Holiday Party! (Realized just how much weight I’ve gained) 
• RWD shoot (ugh, so nervous :[ ) 
• Bye bye 2301! Hello 800 Apollo :) 
• I got another waffle maker, thanks Hamsa! 
• Medicine withdrawal :( 
• JAY’S 30TH SURPRISE PARTY!! 
• Christmas Christmas Christmas!
• NYE :) 

2. Relationships

Joomar! My Joomar. I’m going to ahead and say this for the 100th time, but my goodness how far we’ve gone. Literally feels just like yesterday that I just met him…now we’re living together and have the cutest little pup. (OH, and we became official March 15, 2014 :) ) It’s crazy what they say, only time will tell. Jay and I had a lot of ups and downs this year, not with each other, we’re a strong couple, but with our own lives. Jay resigned from Hypothesis and is now pursuing his dreams as a freelancer. I’m not going to get into his life, since it’s well, his life and personal. But for me, as we all know, the struggle with anti-depressants and my PTSD was my most difficult challenge this year and Jay has never left my side and I love him so much for that. We always make time for each other and go on adventures even through our hard times. I love him so much, I’m so excited to see where we go as a couple and separately in 2015. We have a lot planned out for our future and now we’re just one step closer to it with 2014 in the bag. I’m so happy and very thankful to have him in my life, it would be so boring without him :( I hope and pray that our love grows stronger than ever and that we share an enormous amount of happiness, adventures & coffee dates in 2015. Enjoying coffee just wouldn’t be the same without him. 

3. The Best Day

Sunday, July 27, 2014. Jay and I welcomed our little guy, Alfred, into our lives! He brings us so much joy. It was Jay’s first dog and my like 100000th one, but I was really excited that Jay finally got a pup! It seemed like the perfect time to get a pup due to Jay’s recent resignation from Hypothesis. He’s home practically every day so Alfred doesn’t get bored. However, should the time come when Jay gets a full time again I’m going to get sad because we’re going to have to leave him alone, agh, sad face. But we are thinking of doggy day care, we’ll see. In the meantime, my two boys stay at home making me incredibly envious of their time together. Boo. Alfred is now 8 months old, we got him when he was just 2 months weighing in at only 11 lbs. Now he is a whopping 18 lbs. almost 20! He’ll be 1 soon and I can’t wait till be celebrate that day -- there’s going to be dog cake :) I’m very thankful and happy to have Alfred in our lives, he brings such a big smile to our faces and no matter how old he gets he’s still going to be a puppy in my eyes. 

4. The Worst Day

Monday, September 15, 2014.  The day that I bid adieu to studio 323. It was a very bittersweet feeling, but a long time coming. I was very sad to say goodbye since it was my first apartment and I experienced so many life changing experiences, but given the circumstances it was pretty much time to go. I spent my last two months at Jay’s place that 323 became more like storage, so like I said, time to go! That same month I officially moved in with Jay and Michelle. Yes, Jay, my boyfriend. I am living with my boyfriend, that was a thing. I know for a fact that studio 323 isn’t going to be my last studio (granted, I’m living in one right now) but one to call my own. So farewell for now my giant windows and hardwood floors… farewell. And of course, thank you for all the learning experiences that came with living in a 1 bedroom studio with 3-4 people at a time. It was definitely an eye opener, but I wouldn’t have had it any other way. I’m excited to see where I’m off to next August 2015. Let me rephrase, excited but absolutely terrified, we shall see!

5. The Most Memorable Day 

You know, off the top of my head I really can’t think of a specific date. The only thing that comes to mind is Jay. I have to be fair and I’m sure I mentioned this somewhere else in the blog (note: writing this on different days and not in order) but 2014 was definitely a year filled with learning how to get over fears and to find control in my thoughts. My PTSD really came at me in full swing, so whenever things got bad Jay was always there for me. So honestly any day that wasn’t so great was always memorable because I knew that I was taken care of and was a step forward to becoming a better me. 

6. Your Best Friends 

MAGGIES GOING TO COLLEGE NEXT YEAR. Yea, my little sister is currently in her last year of highschool. A FREAKIN, SENIOR. She applied to 6 colleges all of which are nearby, except for SDSU. But holy crap, my little sister is going to college. Oh. AND SHE’S ALREADY DRIVING. Yea, ugh, I can’t even. And she has a boyfriend. She’s practically an adult and I can’t remember when she decided to wake up one day and be all grown up. Ah, my baby sister… I’m so terrified as her protective older sister but so beyond excited for her future. She has a great head on her shoulders and a giant beating brain so I have confidence she’ll be amazing. I can’t wait to see where you end up going to college, I’ll be proud no matter where you go big brain boshy. 

Jaybird. I think we can both agree that 2014 was definitely a little more mellow for the two of us. I think we deserved it though, seeing that 2013 was a train wreck, LOL. Jourel and I definitely bonded more this year than the previous years. Couldn’t quite say we saw each other a lot, but we definitely have a great number of after-work-stuck-in-traffic phone calls in the bag. We also had several double dates this year, which was always fun even though it’s hard be who we normally would be in front of our boyfriends and not come off too nice in front of each other. Does that make sense? No? It’s okay, we get it. Jourel turned 23 this year too and it was H I L A R I O U S. I’m not sorry for setting up a surprise for you >:] I’m a little sorry that you and your boyfriend fought a little, but it was totally worth it…right? Right? Maybe. Anyways, Jaybird, I love him to pieces and I’m looking forward to seeing what 2015 has in store for him. Sounds like he has a lot planned for his career and that excites me like no other. I’ll always be there for you Jaybird! Now let’s make 2015 our bitch! 

7. The Funnest Getaway 

April 18, 2014. Dynamic Duo adventure to San Francisco! It was a really quick getaway for the weekend and it was really fun. We drove up early morning on Friday and came back home Sunday just in time for WonderCon. Yep, we went to a convention after all that running around up North. We’re nerds okay?! We did a lot of touristy things up in Norcal mainly because it was Jay’s first time so I wanted to make sure that we hit all the spots. I wrote a full detailed blog here. I had a lot of fun and it’s definitely on our to-do list again, but next time we’re going to try and stay longer and visit the non-touristy spots. In 2015 we have Portland lined up for us!! Hopefully some time in March? Possibly spend our 1 year there? Maybe? We’ll see! 

8. Your Birthday 

I turned 23 this year. Yep, twenty-three. 2. 3. With braces, yeah, with braces. This was by far my best birthday, hands down. I wrote a whole entire blog on my birthday that you can find here. But in a nutshell, there was love from my family, Jay, friends, the office and there was waffles, tons of waffles. I felt really loved with all the people that showed up at my birthday party. That’s all I really wanted, is to see the people that I love and care for under one roof having a good time and that’s exactly what I got!! There was even a Photo Booth that made it 100x better, hooray for Pinterest. It’s only 2 months into 23 and so far it’s been kinda EH, but I have almost 75% of 2015 to live it to the fullest, so let’s see what’s in store. I know one thing for sure, 24 will be brace face no mo! :D 

9. The End of Last School Year/The Beginning of This One

While I am sad that I have nothing to report this year, I do have news to share that FIDM has opened a Bachelors in Graphic Design program that should launch September next year !! :) So there is definitely hope in this section, I’m crossing my fingers that I get into the program. In the meantime, I’m also happy to report that this was a pretty great year for me in terms of work. I learned A LOT this year. I juggled freelance and in-house up until November when I decided to take a break from freelance. With freelance, I learned so many things with all my projects. But what I learned the most is that I had to slow down. My art director kept telling me to take a break and to not work so hard, I was so stubborn that I didn’t want to listen. It wasn’t up until one night after a long day at work I broke down and cried because all I wanted to do was rest up, but I had to find the energy to power through a project. That’s when I knew, I had to find balance. I also noticed that when I stopped freelancing my attention to my work at the office improved by 100000000%. (Not to say that I wasn’t focused, but my mind was always distracted and I was always tired.) When our company introduced our new creative director, he brought on a completely new look and discipline  and since then I’ve learned new ways to look at design and how to execute. Work has pretty much been the only thing keeping me busy and grounded, without it I have no idea what I’d do! Hopefully next year I’ll be able to check in with news about being in school, if not, then I hope I’m still kicking ass at work :)  OH OH I also want to mention that I participated this year in FIDMs 24th Annual Career Connections (See photo above!) 

10. New Year Resolutions 

Pulling this directly from my Moleskine! Top 20 New Years Resolutions:

1. Focus less in what you can't handle & focus more on what you can handle.
2. Eat healthier. Be healthier more than ever before.
3. Be nicer to people...
4. Get into school, if not, educate yourself online as you have been but MORE!
5. Focus more on you than freelance projects (unless a really great opportunity comes up, thennnnnnnn, you know... LOL) 
6. Save. Money. Please. Get a hold of your spending habits. 
7. Dress better. Simple = better. 
8. Get better at drawing. 
9. Fix that posture! 
10. Travel. Somewhere. Anywhere. 
11. Continue to keep parents in your life as much as possible. 
12. Write and read more :) 
13. Be kind to Jay and love x1000000 more... be nice! 
14. Cook more and learn new dishes. 
15. Think more optimistically!
16. Dance more. Sing more. 
17. Let's get rid of "Jr." in your title, yes?
18. See more friends this year and hang out more often. 
19. Start your days earlier. Wake up earlier! 
20. Be kind to yourself... 

Overall, the important thing to remember is to try and stay happy no matter what the circumstances are. Be nicer to other people and love more. Don't let your fears get to you okay? Push through it and become stronger. Stay inspired. Stay motivated. Stay in love. Go get 'em Future Krislam! 

Good Riddance 2014, as always, it's been a pleasure! ♥  

Changes!

As of December 17, 2014 I officially made the decision to be anti-depressant free and while it’s really only been 5 days, it’s been 5 incredible hard days. I haven’t gone cold turkey. I have a medical regiment that I am following and my mid January I should be completely rid of medication :) The withdrawal process is probably the worst thing through this entire journey with PTSD (minus getting really chubby). Think of spinning in an office chair really fast for about 5 minutes, and now think of that feeling you get when you finally get off.. that’s me, for about 24/7…on top of that I constantly feel there’s a rock sitting on top of my eye. Gah! My thoughts are everywhere and I am become extremely exhausted from even the most mundane tasks.

A lot of people don’t take my illness seriously, so I let them be, but for the like 4 people in my life that do take it seriously, I am very thankful to them. Especially Jay. I feel like such a terrible girl friend for choosing his birthday week to make the decision, but it was better to start now while I have vacation for the holidays than to do it next year and start the year off with sick days and going home early.

I am so excited to be medication free, I just gotta hang in there.

Update later!

On Set!

Today was the first time I experienced being in front of a camera on set for an actual fashion collection! Eeeek!

I won't spill too much details now, but I'll be back when we launch the collection in January 2015. Otherwise, future Krislam I hope you know that you were SO NERVOUS TODAY... LOL. Talk about camera shy.

:)