Been awhile.

Hello world!

It's been so long since I've blogged anything substantial, I've been so busy at work that by the time I get home I'm pooped and usually I sleep on the train on the way home, but nope not this time. I promised myself that I will try to be productive all week long.

I was recently released from physical therapy, it only took 2 months of recovery, which was surprisingly good given the intensity of the accident. But hooray! I'm back to normal! Mentally I'm doin' alright. I've been in deep thought lately but my biffle pretty much picked me back up so now I'm feeling much better. I've also started going back to church and this time I try to go weekly, the accident has taught me that I should really embrace my relationship with God so that he can take care of me and others and guide me to the right path and not have to live in so much fear. Its been going great and I'm so glad my mom pushed me to make that decision.

Aside from the accident, I've been trying to start a new project. Our recent designer forwarded me her contacts with the print vendors she uses and  I was so excited because I really want to design a  2013 planner made out of Kraft paper. My 2012 planner is about to end and I love it so much so I was like what the hey! I'll just make a new one. I know that it'll be tedious inserting all the days of the week but I know in the end it'll be worth it. Not only that, but I get to customize it, and if there's anything I know I need in a planner is some extra room to write in. Usually I use my planner in meetings or in projects and I really want to keep all my information in one place AND I really want it to be on Kraft paper so I get the best of both worlds by designing it. It's going to be awesome :) so stay tuned for that!

Work has been like I said, busy, but it's because of my recent responsibility as project lead! I was told by Cody (who is my creative director) that I would take the lead for the next project and when he meant by lead he meant that, I called all the shots. I was super super super stoked! I usually support the directors but this time I get to lead my own, so that's been going on for about a month now and we're about to wrap it up this week after we get production completed. It is stressful but so amazingly fun and I get to say that I got to lead a project. It's freakin awesome.. And I'm so excited to see the finish product.

Tony and I are doing so well, I love him more each and everyday even though we hardly get to see each other. I miss him almost all the time, I find myself staring at our picture at work wishing it was like the old days back in high school where he'd pick me up and get lunch and then head to my house to hangout...or go to the mall.. sigh* I'm looking forward to the day I get to move in with this guy <3 I love him so much.. 

Apartment hunting is coming to an end as we're about to place a hold in a 1 bedroom and move out by mid-june. If all goes well WE SHOULD be moving out, so we're just hoping for the best.. honestly... I want to start a new chapter in life. It's been my dream to live in LA.. so freakin' stoked. We have ONE MORE month left.. one more!!

Welp that's quite of an update, I need to get some things finished before I head to bed. Should probably eat dinner too, hehe. Alrighty. 

'Till next time world! :]

Out of Mind.

Dear Future Krislam,

Right now you're going through some phase that's causing you to question everything around you and you're pretty much freaking yourself out. You ask questions that cannot be answered causing you to freak out. You question the gift of life, why you're here, if anyone else in the world is real, what will happen to you when you die, when will you die, etc. all things that you normally wouldn't think about. You fear death more than ever and I think that has a lot to do with the accident. Oh the accident, you're still afraid to drive yet you get on the road every day to overcome the fear, good for you. Anyways, this phase of yours, you're taking it pretty seriously and causing yourself to cry a lot to due this fear/unanswered question. Well, after talking to the parents and receiving comfort from God I think it is time that I create a closer relationship with Him so that I won't doubt life, question so much nor live in fear.

You'll get through this, it's part of life and (also what seems to be recovering)

Just remember that everyone...is real.

And future me, I know I sound a little disoriented and may have you think I'm a little psycho. (I mean I'm talking to myself) but know I did this to just relieve some stress.

But yea, you'll be fine and whatever happens, happens.

Love,
Present Me.

365 Project | March

March definitely snuck up on me and left a big influence with my interpretation of life -- but I mean most of my months are like that especially February. March was another one of those "bittersweet" months, a lot of which had to do with post accident recovery & having dealt with the passing of Markie boy, but we've all grown accustomed to moving on when life gets dense on us, with that being said here is my month of March in review. 

Like I previously said, March was full of post accident recovery. I was out of work for quite some time and was free to do almost anything that didn't require physical stress. Through my recovery I wanted to divert any negative thoughts that had to deal with the accident, at the time I was still very fragile & weak at the idea of driving, being driven or being in a car, that's how scarred I was. I decided what better way to recover then to hang out with familiar faces, so I hung out with a lot of people and visited an old teacher, Mr. Dahms, to inspire future designers. 

---

When I was finally able to go back to work I was welcomed with a beautiful bouquet of flowers and a huge card signed by my amazing co-workers. I was so thrilled to be back at work, to be back in the city and most importantly to be back to normal - driving still went on with much difficulty as it is present day (but I'll get to that later) - the days that followed upon returning to work was just as it was before I had left, perfectly ordinary but extremely fun.

---

Apart from being in good spirits about recovering & being back at work, life had another present for me for having done so well since the accident (or so I'd like to think :P) On St. Patricks day I purchased my first car! Charlie wasn't under my name, but Murfee, yes Murfree, is. Words couldn't explain how grateful I was for being able to 1. purchase my very own car without my parents 2. being blessed of still being alive and able to go through this experience. So that basically made my weekend and I am more than ever so careful with my car and so in love with him, but just keep in mind that Murfee could never replace the love I have for Charlie, he was and still is my hero.

---

All was well until this little grey cloud decided to stick around for a while and hover with its thunder clasping and unavoidable shower of pathetic events, of course this is all metaphorically speaking, however in retrospect I couldn't have thought of a better description for what happened. Long story short, on March 22 (2 days before his birthday) we took Markie to the hospital and had to put him down. It was heart-wrenching and the feel of guilt overpowered any other emotion (if any still existed during the time). I miss Markie till this very day but ever so glad that he's in peace now, because let's just say had he stayed put he would have been miserable, so I do have a peace of mind that I had done the right thing, though it feels like I didn't. R.I.P Markie boy, I love you (: 

---

In spite of that tragic event, Penpail Abby & her friend Charlene came down from NorCal to go apartment hunting in DTLA (see previous posts). In a nutshell, it was an amazing and life changing experience and I am so excited to move out in June. 

---

Remember how I said I was "ever-so-careful" with my car? Yea, not even 2 weeks have gone by and some dumbnut hit my car with their door at the Metrolink station. I am beyond furious because I've been parking there for the past 3 years and parked 4 different cars in the same spot and the ONE time my car gets hit, it's Murfee. I don't even want to get into it with the damage or how I really feel BUT rest assure I am angry with this person, LOL. 

---

March went out with a bang when I decided that I was going to venture out from the ordinary life that I knew (and the fact having dealt with such a roller coaster) and stayed in Downtown over the weekend. It wasn't to my surprise that I had an amazing weekend in the city, my co-workers are pretty much the best people you can work with and has such a good vibe. Thursday night I spent a well fed evening at Mignon with Cody & Blake, the whole day I was looking forward to indulging myself with Moscato and filling up my stomach with delicious food and believe me, it was worth every second of waiting. Friday night, we as a company decided to hold a happy hour event for Angela who is sadly leaving the company to pursue other opportunities. We hung out at Bar & Kitchen and just had a really good time, I had the option to drown myself in alcohol or gingerly sip through a glass of wine, I had chosen the latter for good karmas sake. After happy hour, Jhomar and I went to watch 21 Jump Street and OH MY GOODNESS, it was HILARIOUS, I definitely recommend it. Soon after the movie I went home and knocked out. Saturday morning Jhomar and I met up at the Coffee Bar to get some coffee and do some reading together, later I splurged and went to Glendale Galleria and bought a new outfit for later that evening, come night time Melissa and I joined Jhomar and Pete at Dublins and headed over to the Staples Center to watch a Clippers game exclusively provided by our CEO. It was my first game and it was A-M-A-Z-I-N-G, it was so close to the court to the point where I could tell just how tall Blake Griffin was. By the way, I'm still a Lakers girl, kay. After the game we headed back to the loft and pigged out on pizza and wine, the rest was history! 

[No Picture T_T]

Sunday was a more relaxed day, I left the city and drove myself to Orange County to see my beloved boyfriend who I scarcely see due to our hectic schedule. I slept a lot since I was so pooped from my weekend adventures but I still had enough energy to have a good day with him. We said bonvayage to his parents who was going to Vietnam for 2 weeks, after that I went home and unpacked and knocked out. 

---

I usually don't type this much for a monthly summary, even more so I usually provide a huge picture of the month and then use a bullet format to express my journey, but I wanted to do something different. That and I'm still making the picture, actually I should probably back up my phone before something unfortunate happens, stupid reoccurring grey cloud. 

Be that as it may, March treated me fairly well but in its defense, like I've always said life is full of ups and downs it's just in the matter of your mindset & how well you want to act upon it. With all that being said...

Dear future Krislam, you've won the battle of recovery post accident and witnessed your first tragic death at hand, you got this yo :] 


Until next time, world!