The idea is scary

It is April 21, 2013. Currently sitting at my bed sans the bed sheets as I am washing them in my tiny little dryer in my studio. Laptop on my upside down Angry Birds pig and a tub of ice cream within arms reach. Pondering, pondering, pondering -

Last night I attended my first Art Center Grad Show, for those who know me well enough, you all know that I want to attend that school some time in the near future. But it didn't occur to me until last night, just how much I wanted to attend that school. Walking around and seeing all the work that STUDENTS made was just so inspiring. I had half a brain to just go up to admissions on Monday and apply - LOL, but that's obviously not going to happen.

After getting my mind blown for well over 30 minutes (we showed up really late but just enough time) I started to question what my life is going to be like in the next 6 months. If I really wanted to go back to school the smartest decision would be to go back home this September, keep working at Hypothesis, hone into my practices and self development, SAVE MONEY & then go back to school in 2015 and become a full time student. That would be the "ideal" plan, but becoming a full time student would mean I have to let go of working full time (duh) - I'd let my experience and well, my income, suffer.

I also thought that if I move back home I'd be letting go of my lifestyle here in LA and it really does bring a tear to my eye to potentially let go of what I have here. I'm happy but I know that I've plateaued with my design adventure/journey. If living here in LA means I can't go back to school, then maybe going back home would be the best option for me regardless of what my plans may be soon after I move back. I think about how much money I could be saving... (I could save up to 9k a year if I go back home.) But what does moving back home mean for me other than to save money? I'd go back to living under my parents. Rules will be instilled, curfews & limitations - do I really want that? Does my $800/month for rent buy me my freedom? Yes. But does it take away from being able to go back to school to broaden my talent and go to the school I've been wanting to go to? Yes.

Another option would be to transition to a new job, become a production designer and learn from a new company that way I'd be making money AND learning something new. It brings up the question of whether or not I need to go back to school. A lot of what I've learned in this past year was based thoroughly off of work experience and teaching myself new things, a lot of which school did not teach me in two years... so do I really have to go back to school? Not entirely.

I guess the bigger picture here is ... should I move back home in September?

Everything else after that will play itself... but moving back... do I dare?